The Atonement

In Sunday School, we've studied the Atonement of our Savior. I need to share my gratitude for what He has done for me.

I have often pictured Christ in the upper chambers, washing the filthy feet of his apostles. He had such great love for them and showed that the King of this world could serve as the lowest servant would. I've pictured him in Gethsemane. The picture that Melba Hansen did of Him kneeling at a big rock under an olive tree, that used to be at the front of the First Ward chapel, has always stuck with me. The moon hidden behind the branches and the cloudy sky showed how much the earth didn't even want to be a part of that terrible event. The fact that he was able to perform the monumental task of paying for the sins of the world is beyond any comprehension.

I have imagined the scenes of the crowning of the thorns, the scourging, the mock trials; the walk to Golgotha with the crossbeam across his torn and bleeding shoulders and back; the nailing of his hands, wrists, and feet to the beam; the jostling as the soldiers were lifting him up on the cross. I can't imagine the horror of the tortured nerves across his chest as his arms pulled and suffocated him or the immense pain of pushing on the nail in his feet to relieve the strain on the arms and chest. Gratitude and relief are always felt when I finally get to the part where He says, "It is done."

I know that many other people have suffered crucifixion. It is a horrible way to be put to death. But, we know that only one man could suffer in Gethsemane as Christ did. Jesus, alone, paid for our sins that we might be able to repent and keep trying to do better.

I feel such gratitude and love for my Savior for all he has done for me. I must always be thankful for my blessings and never, never forget the big picture. I can't wait for the day when I can kneel at His feet and thank him personally.

Dear Janika's Baby Blessing Day

My princess, Natalie, and her sweetheart, Shawn, got to bless their own princess, Janika, last Sunday. Not only were they beautiful, Dennis did a beautiful job on the blessing. I'm so proud of Natalie and Shawn. They've built a good life together and are great parents for John and Janika. It's a joy to watch them.

To be a Gramma

I am learning the joys of Grandmotherhood. How amazing these incredible little Children of God are. How lucky I am to be their Grandmother. What an awesome, fantastic experience.

Miracles

Dear Barbara Barney has been an amazing example of how to handle stress. She has been a one-on-one teaching specialist in a very tough situation for the last 5 years. She taught me what patience looks like; how to love unconditionally; how to take one day at a time - not knowing what that day would bring; and how to keep smiling no matter what. The ladies I work with make an awesome team and I'm so grateful for them. Each is so helpful and caring. My students are the luckiest kids in the world.

Faith

There is a question in my next RS lesson that asks for positive experiences of sisters who have had FHE, family scripture study, meals together, and so forth. Dennis and I have done these things but only have 2 of our 6 children who value the gospel at this time. I truly feel quite discouraged when I see how my own family has failed after we tried really hard to do things right, especially when they were all at home. My children have had good spiritual backgrounds, yet they don't value spirituality. THEN, the epiphany came to me. I believe what our leaders have taught. I have a testimony that doing these things was the right thing to do. I can have FAITH that at some point, my prayers will be answered. My children, at some point, will value the Church, our leaders, our gospel. My job is to love them and to have faith that things will work out. I can do that. Faith is the key.

Talents

I gave the Relief Society sisters a challenge to write their 10 favorite talents and 10 they want to improve this year. Here is my list:
Hmmm...
1. I like kids.
2. I like my "special" kids.
3. I love the ladies I work with and learn so much from them.
4. I'm a good collector - Dennis will agree.
5. I love crafts.
6. I love art.
7. I love dancing (and wish I'd kept my body in shape, but plan to dance again).
8. I love music and love to sing. (Should that be two?)
9. I love spending time holding Dennis' hand.(Is that a talent?)
10. I love playing games, even though I'm not good at them - hey, it makes them feel good when they win, right?

And things I want to improve:
1. Painting
2. Piano
3. Exercising
4. FHE - that's a talent, right?
5. Seeing the needs of my students and children and addressing each of their deficits.
6. Seeing the strengths of my students and my children and helping them see their strong points.
7. Being a better reading/comprehension teacher.
8. Teaching to the UAAs and testing them continuously through the school year.
9. Staying organized with IEPs and paperwork.
10. Teaching patriotism to my students.
11. Self control with food/exercise/weight control.
12. More kind words and service to friends & neighbors.
13. Creative meals.
14. Consistency in house keeping.
15. Care packages, cards, notes, and letters to my children on a regular basis.
16. Making soap
17. Flossing - I'm sure that's a talent.
18. Being fun - I'm not sure if a person can learn this...
19. Being a good conversationalist.
20. Seeing the wonders in nature every day.

That's enough for now. There is SO much to improve upon. Big sigh. It can be done though. You eat an elephant one bite at a time.

Bittersweet

Yesterday, my siblings and I went through my Dad's house and "split the goods". It was wonderful/awful. We got along like champs but it was hard for me to accept the finality of it. It drilled into me again that all we take with us is what's inside. All the "stuff" he'd worked so hard to get - was just that - stuff.

I'm so grateful for Dennis. He knew I'd been stressing over it all and there were beautiful flowers on the table when I got home. Just what I needed. He's such a doll. I really dread the day when we are split up for a time before meeting again in Paradise. Watching Dad deal with loneliness was hard, but we felt his happiness when he got to be released from this life and go dance with Mom again.